Thursday, 13 December 2018

Hiding In Plain Sight


Why is it that some of the simple but most meaningful moments of life seem to hide right in plain sight? Perhaps they are not hiding. Maybe we’re just being human and don’t look for or fail to see that which is obvious. Our excuses are varied and, in our minds, most justified – too busy, too stressed, too put upon, too lazy, why me, not my job, not my strength, and the list goes on.

I am ashamed to say that Sue and I have lived in our house on East High Street for 43 years and, while we know a few neighbors, there are many about whom we don’t have a clue. Now whose fault is this? See paragraph one.  I viscerally feel the rancor and division in a small city that I love.  It troubles me greatly and I ponder how that came to be.  Sometimes my pondering is productive and a light bulb flashes. How can I dare be concerned about the disconnect in my entire city when I know little about people living just yards away?

History has shown that humans have always searched for new frontiers to explore and conquer.  Some of those frontiers were: the new world, the west, outer space, the moon, the internet.  I propose that our own neighborhoods right here in Milton have become a frontier which is unknown to us and that, somehow, we have lost the motivation to explore and experience what that frontier offers.    I grew up in the fifties and recall knowing all of our neighbors up and down the street.  Although a young child, I knew neighbors’ names because, at home, we spoke of them as family.  We cared about them, we knew when there were illnesses, births, hospitalizations, deaths, and other experiences that are the stuff of life.  Where did that go?

A few short weeks ago I began to experience again what a neighborhood could be and it was magical.  Main Hall, in the heart of what I like to call the Milton College Historic District Neighborhood, became the gathering place for a group of great people – my neighbors.  Having been invited by Dave, Doris, Jim, Linda, & Sue, they came together for the sole purpose of sharing pot luck and becoming better acquainted. For many it was not only their first time visiting Main Hall but also their first time meeting each other.  Most of us will agree that visiting new places and meeting new people can be awkward and intimidating.  This event was no exception. The air was tinged with a bit of anxiety but, here is the magic, it was quickly banished as we shared food, regaled each other with stories, and leaned-in to the experience.  The rooms grew warm and animated and seemed full of light. The air hummed with jovial conversation. Smiles transformed faces and barriers disappeared.  Our ages spanned young children to aging baby-boomers – almost senior citizens.  One young lady commandeered the piano and accompanied her younger sister who was performing acrobatics for an enthusiastic audience.

No longer strangers who, on a good day, might wave to a nearly unknown person backing out of a driveway or mowing a lawn, we morphed into friends, allies, and embraced our commonalities while valuing our differences. We took a giant leap toward building community and creating a place where kindness reigned. Those attending were reluctant to leave; wanting instead to preserve the great atmosphere which had spawned friendships and new-found caring among those who lived close but didn’t really know each other.

These positive changes were not a flash-in-the-pan occurrence that quickly went away.  I have seen new behaviors from all of us continue.  Rather than a possible wave we call to each other across the street, we help each other manage fall leaves, we take out and bring in trash bins for those whose circumstances and schedules make this challenging, we add each other to our church's prayer chains, we watch out for each other.  We care. We are kind. We have taken on that neighborhood frontier and are making it ours. #WAM   

Here are some views of the Milton College Historic District Neighborhood from my front yard.






Thursday, 1 November 2018

Hope & Unity Begin With Kindness


Cruz ‘n’ For Kindness
November 1, 2018


Ever have one of those moments when what you thought was going to be another routine life event morphed into something deeply moving and significant? When right before your eyes you saw and felt a tableau that became a marker – something that has staying power – something you learned that cannot be taken from you? Just a few days ago, this happened to me and it wasn’t on a mountain top vista or the sweep of a tropical beach. Rather, it was just around the corner. Most would not consider Jake’s Junction Pub exotic but for a couple of hours on that night Jake’s became sublime.

Members of the MUHS Class of 69 sometimes gather at Jake’s just to connect, reminisce, plan for a fast approaching 50 year reunion, or just to care for each other. I married into this class and it has always been my observation that they are a close-knit group with a special camaraderie. Some classes are special that way. This particular gathering included (using maiden names) Eileen Hines, Cindy Corkhill, Sue FitzRandolph, Kathy Cookson, Tom Westrick, Mike Green, John VanHorn, Jarret Goodman, Bruce Penny, Bruce Loften, Bob Hinkel, John Kasharek, and Dennis Cashore. Of course there were a couple of interlopers like me.

Of note here, is that Denny Cashore has been unable to attend these gatherings because his health has, kept him home bound in the Madison area for several months. Knowing this, a handful of his classmates have been stopping in see him from time to time. Organizer Bruce Loften thought it would be great to get Denny to Milton so that more friends could gather around. Denny liked the idea, so Bruce set it up and brought him on down. Classmates responded warmly and generously. I watched as lifelong friends, one after another, entered Jake's, walked up to Denny for hugs, handshakes, and conversation. The smile on Denny's face filled the entire room. Oh, the stories that were being spun. Denny's sister, Candy, garnished the gathering with a cake.

This is the stuff of life. Life long friends being kind and caring for one another. We drastically underestimate the influence we can be. We must remain patiently, locally, and personally engaged in the spaces, opportunities, and lives around us. I witnessed the power of this unfolding a few days ago at Jake's. It was wonderful to watch and be a part. This is the way to build community – one person to one person relationship at a time. Thank you Class of 69 for showing us how the language of unity and hope begins with kindness. #WAM




Friday, 24 August 2018

Making An Impact


Cruz'n' for Kindness
August 23, 2018

Although I live in the middle of town I have the good fortune to have a couple of acres of woods adjacent to my back yard. The yard flows naturally into several flower gardens interconnected with paths that Sue and I have cultivated over the years in the margin of the woods. Amongst these gardens are several sizable ash trees once beautiful but now dead and brittle, a plague shared by many Milton property owners.


Well, last Thursday, we experienced a powerful storm that felled one of these. It crashed and splintered right across some of our garden areas. What a mess. As I started the clean-up on a very hot, steamy day I realized quickly that my small chain saw, while effective on the limb wood, was significantly challenged on the trunk. I was hot, tired (this is not my kind of work – my tools are pens and legal pads), and beginning to get cranky with the thought that I would have to rent a larger saw and the job that I thought I could complete in a couple of hours would likely spread to a couple of days. I like completion, a concept that now seemed elusive in regard to this tree.
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About then, Terry, one of three Culver brothers who lives a couple of houses up from me, was moving my way with his larger, more powerful saw. Terry didn’t hem and haw around. He simply and intentionally started chunking-up the trunk, a task beyond my saw, skill, and experience. He worked diligently in the heat and humidity until no trunk remained. Then he went home.

Terry and I talk from time to time and we wave across the yards. We don’t have history together nor much connection other than we live on the same street a couple of houses apart. Terry wasn’t bothering about whether he “loved” his neighbor. He simply acted as if he did.

As Terry was packing up his saw he said to me, “We neighbors have to take care of each other”. On reflection, what a day! Not only did I receive unsolicited help with my downed tree but I also received a powerful, graphic lesson in how to live.


This little drama in Milton will not make the national news but maybe it should if only to counterbalance that miasma of world news, fake or real, that we hear and, quite frankly, seek every day. In his book, Staying Is The New Going, Alan Briggs states, “You can live your life in a small radius and make a big impact.” Terry clearly demonstrated this concept. You can bet that what I experienced with Terry, his unsolicited, freely offered assistance, his kindness, was the real thing and it moved me to my core. Terry you are Milton and together, through your kindness we are Milton. #WAM

Jon Cruzan is a community catalyst. He tries to catch people being kind to one another. When he does, he lets them know about it. It makes them feel good, it makes him feel good and colors the world in a positive way. When Cruzan is not on his bicycle or picking up his grandsons from school or networking with community members, you might see him picking up litter or working to make Milton better in other ways. Cruzan can be reached at jcruzan@charter.net. He invites you to check out his blog - Cruz'n' for Kindness -  at cruznforkindness.blogspot.com


Here is a picture from a year ago showing Terry (foreground) & his two brothers, Craig & Kringle, helping a neighbor trim a hedge.  These guys have values from which we all could learn.


Saturday, 18 August 2018

Crossing With Safety


Cruz’ n' for Kindness
April 28, 2018

We have so much of which to be proud in Milton. Sometimes, when I am in that pondering mode, I am moved to tears as I consider the positive influence this community has had on my life. If you stop to think about it, you probably do as well. Many contributors to this feeling go unnoticed as they are simply part of daily life and blend into the background without conscious consideration from me. However, with deeper reflection, I realize that they are the very fabric of Milton. They are pieces that create the synergy (the whole is greater than the sum of the parts) of this Milton that I call home.

Much of this is rooted in basic kindness. There is a group of individuals who demonstrate this every school day. Some of you have probably noticed but now all can watch for it.

Our school crossing guards are special people. Their specific duty is to stop traffic and ensure that our kids can safely cross the street. If you watch you will see Milton’s crossing guards doing so much more than this. They become very familiar with our kids. They watch out for them. They look them in the eye and greet them. They provide that fist bump or reassuring arm around the shoulder that eases the anxiety from the start of the school day. How reassuring and how Milton!

They are another layer of protection for our kids. They know them and they can tell if something is amiss so that a special word or gesture can be added. They know our traffic patterns – the flow of the city, more sets of eyes equals more protection all of us. Not only that, they wave to every car that goes by. I hope that you are waving back. I know that I do. I even try to wave before they do.

If we read their job description I doubt we would find the words: be kind, greet kids and get to know them, reassure them, get down on their level to make a connection, wave to passing motorists. I am nearly positive we would not find any of this in an official document. But this group of special Milton servants has chosen to make it their job. But it is more than that. They have chosen to make it their calling. What a fine calling it is.

Thank you crossing guards for making a conscious decision to add kindness and caring to our days. What a blessing and significant contribution to our quality of life. You are Milton. We are Milton. #WAM

Jon Cruzan is a community catalyst. He tries to catch people being kind to one another. When he does, he lets them know about it. It makes them feel good, it makes him feel good and colors the world in a positive way. When Cruzan is not on his bicycle or picking up his grandsons from school or networking with community members, you might see him picking up litter or working to make Milton better in other ways. Cruzan can be reached at jcruzan@charter.net.





Friday, 17 August 2018

Brats, Cheesy Potatoes & Baked Beans


First Published on 4.19.18


Courier readers probably spent Easter with their families & loved ones enjoying a great meal, reminiscing, & engaging in warm conversation. We simply take this for granted and are probably affronted if these celebrations don’t occur. However, among those for whom travel home to family is not possible, are Beloit College students. BC is often called the Harvard of the Midwest, not only for its academic rigor but also for attracting students from around the world. Most simply cannot get home for a holiday we take for granted.

So, you ask, “What does this have to do with Milton?” Plenty. I just happen to know this quiet, unassuming Milton guy who is a BC staff member. Some of you know him as a scholar athlete at Milton College – a Hall of Famer both as an athlete & as a collegiate coach. Some of you know him as the guy at the finish line of our July 4th run. What you may not know is that this guy has a heart as big as the world. On nearly every holiday he & his family prepare food for close to a hundred athletes, students, and any family members of students who may be in Beloit. Brats, baked beans, & cheesy potatoes by the nesco-full travel from Milton to BC. This guy, & his family, feed these kids - his kids, his athletes - because they are sort of stranded at holiday time.

Why would this guy prepare food for days ahead and sacrifice his own holiday time for kids that may only be a fleeting part of his life? He would not call it a sacrifice. He would call it an important investment in making the world a better place. He came to Milton as a college student and stayed. Milton and family is in his very being. Simply, this is who and what he is – a guy spreading caring and kindness in a very personalized manner. He would be happy if no one knew of this and he would continue do it. But I find him to be an inspiration, a light, a beacon, that we all so desperately need; so his story needs to be shared. Brian Bliese, you've been busted spreading kindness.


Thursday, 16 August 2018

A Little Roof Repaired

Cruz’n’ for Kindness – A Little Roof Repaired – 3.19.18
By Jon Cruzan

I have been walking quite a lot on our phenomenal Glacial River Bike Trail. Walking because I am too wussy to ride my bike in cold weather. Walking is also more conducive to picking up litter and making observations than the pace of the bike allows. If you are familiar with the trail, you know that someone has erected a few birdhouses in the area of the Klug Road cul-de-sac. (I don’t know who.) Earlier this month, I noticed the roof of one of the birdhouses had split and fallen to the ground. I tried to retrieve it but it was out of my reach on the other side of the fence.

I mentioned this to my good friend Ernie Fisher, who also walks on the bike trail. He too had noticed the bird house in need of repair and said he was going to fix it.

The next time I walked by the birdhouse, it had been fixed. I didn’t see Ernie fix it, but I know that Ernie had completed what he said he would do.

If you know Ernie at all, you know that he is consistently a man of deep faith, strong character and commitment.

Why would he fix a birdhouse when there is no personal gain to be realized? He even had to go to the trouble of bringing tools along on his walk.

I believe he did it because he gains fulfillment in doing things for others and doing them well. He believes in the greater good for all and, in the words of the old song, he brightens the corner where he is. (“Brighten The Corner Where You Are” is a hymn written by Ina Ogdon in 1913.) He does this because this is who Ernie is. Most of the time Ernie does these things and people don’t even know about it. Not this time, Ernie.

Jon Cruzan is a community catalyst. He tries to catch people being kind to one another. When he does, he lets them know about it. It makes them feel good, it makes him feel good and colors the world in a positive way. When Cruzan is not on his bicycle or picking up his grandsons from school or networking with community members, you might see him picking up litter or working to make Milton better in other ways. Cruzan can be reached at jcruzan@charter.net.




How It Began

In late March, 2018, I wrote a letter to my local weekly newspaper, The Milton Courier.  The purpose of my letter was to highlight the kind deed of a good friend of mine.  Our community had been racked with negativity, back-biting, divisiveness and rancor at an unprecedented level. I felt and feel strongly that I needed to do what I could to showcase the goodness & kindness of our great community rather than focus and fixate on the negative.  Thus my letter - perhaps a feeble attempt - but it made me feel better than doing nothing. This great quote speaks to the issue, "When we reject the deeds of darkness and do everything in the light of day, we become light and, as light should, we give light to others by our actions." - Gregory of Nyssa in the Liturgy of the Hours.

Well, as God would have it, these things sometimes take on a life of their own. Perhaps, even, they are ordained.  The Courier rejected my letter. I was flabbergasted until I read to the end of the rejection where I was invited to write a column.  Never had this entered my head as a possibility.  I was intrigued by the idea and conversed with the Courier Editor to see how this might work.  The result is Cruz'n' for Kindness - an occasional column penned by yours truly and published by The Courier.

Recently, I felt directed to also publish this column in blog form and The Courier agreed with this idea.  So, this first post and a few subsequent posts will provide the history. Watch for a brand new post next week.

Courier Opinion – 3.29.18
Our View
CONTRIBUTE KINDNESS

You are such a great contributor to our city.”

That was the message handwritten on a small piece of paper and mailed to the Milton Courier anonymously last month.

Below the message were the hashtags: #RAK#KINDNESS AND #CARINGMILTON. (RAK is Random Acts of Kindness and hashtags help people find content on social media.)

We took a photo of the message, used it as our Facebook cover and planned to keep it there until we found out who sent us the message. With a bit of detective work and some handwriting analysis, we identified who sent us the message, and when confronted with having committed a random act of kindness, the person confessed last week. It turns out our messenger had received a similar note, which in turn inspired our messenger to write notes.

As a newspaper, we, too, were inspired and had a great story - or so we thought until we realized the anonymity is essential. Think about it: You receive a note from someone who says you are kind or nice. You then start thinking about the people in your social circles. You might send one of them a note. You start think about people watching your behavior. The note reminds you to be on your best behavior no matter who is watching. Compelled by the argument for anonymity as compelling, we agreed to maintain the mystique of our messenger.

Conversely, we have seen many comments on Facebook that are unkind. People are not always putting their best face forward. With the upcoming election, neighbors have not been so neighborly.

At the start of last week’s city council and school board candidate forum, Milton Area Chamber of Commerce Executive Director Dani Stavarius spoke about kindness: “… We all have different views. That is fine. That’s what makes this world go round. But it’s disheartening what’s been going on in our community. … I think it is time we kind of all come together instead of being against each other. …” She asked the forum audience “to please be kind and respectful to all of (the candidates) and to listen with an open mind.” The audience responded with applause and fulfilled her request.

Also last week, we received a letter to the editor submitted by Jon Cruzan. In his letter he wrote: “I try to make a habit of catching people doing things right and, when I do, letting them know about it. It makes them feel good, it makes me feel good, and it colors the world in a more positive way.” We rejected Cruzan’s letter, hoping instead Cruzan would be willing to write a column about his habit. Cruzan’s first “Cruz’n’ for Kindness” column appears in this week’s Milton Courier below. It Is not a coincidence that Cruzan received a Lifetime Achievement Award from the Milton Area Chamber of Commerce last week.

Maybe while out and about, Cruzan will catch you doing something good and write about it. #RAK